Today I found a strength deep inside me that was not my own. Julie needed to go home to the boys this afternoon and things with Sarah were pretty good when she left. It didn’t take long for Sarah’s mild and infrequent episodes to escalate. I was nervous about being alone with her for the rest of the day. I wasn’t sure how I would make it and have enough strength. Her episodes started happening closer and closer together. The intensity began to build. But to my surprise I was by her side every step of the way with this energy that poured out of my core. I know your thoughts, prayers and a loving Heavenly Father made up for what I lacked.
From afternoon through evening she experienced a continual break and up until 7:00 we were able to focus and keep her from losing total control. However, from 7-8:30, the panic and confusion set in to stay. It wasn’t as intense as yesterday though and we had the knowledge that medication was coming that would bring her relief.
They believe this was all brought on by the new anti-biotic she started last Tuesday. Looking back Julie was able to identify mood swings, meltdowns and displeasure over the course of last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. In a normal healthy adult the drugs should work themselves out over a 24hr period. But in her fragile condition, with her kidneys and liver not up to full capacity, they are hoping for up to 3 days. We should see changes for the better leading up to Wednesday evening.
By 9:30 she was able to relax enough to allow herself to close her eyes. When I asked her if we could have family prayer, her eyes flew open in total panic. Family prayer means I leave to go to sleep. “Please don’t go”. I promised her I would be back in the morning and her nurse promised she would sit next to her bed all night to keep watch over her. Her muscles relaxed and her eyelids closed. We had prayer and then she opened her eyes and with clarity said, “I love you, dad” and then closed her eyes. I kissed her on the nose and told her it was okay to sleep. She was safe. And with a very different perspective tonight and knowing what it meant, I wished her sweet dreams.
PS Could you do me a favor? Zach, Sarah’s special little heart buddy needs help. He and his family could use your prayers. Would you please pray for them with the same intensity we have felt these past couple of days? There is tremendous power in united prayer. From the bottom of Sarah’s new heart… Thank you.