New Job and No Cancer

So many things have happened since last time I wrote…a week and half ago. Haha. Where to start? Mmmmm…. My days have all kind of mixed together. Wish me luck!A few weeks ago, I noticed a sign in the student elevator in the building live in. It said that the PRI office was hiring a new RA. I thought, “huh, that would be fun” and then went along with my day. I was hanging out with my friends that night and someone mentioned that they had seen the housing office was hiring…and “Sarah! You’d be sooo great at that job. You should apply!!” There were several “mms” and “yeahs” in agreement. I told them I’d think about it. A few days later, I was talking to Mom (and Dad a different time) about the possibility of being an RA. I told them that I had been praying about if I should even apply. Being the amazing parents they are, they were both very supportive in my decision, whatever it may be. I went and picked up an application…and continued to pray. I hadn’t gotten a “no” from Heavenly Father, so I filled out the application. When I turned it in, Veronica stopped me before I left the room. “Hey! Can you come in for an interview on Tuesday?” “Yeah, sure!” “Great. Thanks! You saved me from having to call you in about an hour to ask the same question. Haha!”

Tuesday came and the interview went soooo great! I was professional, confident, and really relaxed. One of the questions Judy asked the dreaded question about what my weakness was. My answer was kind of an out of body experience. I didn’t want to say something that everyone says. I sat and thought for a second and opened my mouth. I said that I’m really enthusiastic, probably to a fault. It was crazy!! What was I even saying?! I went on to explain that I put my whole heart and soul into everything. I sometimes will get so focused on something that other aspects of my life get ignored…a little. I gave an example when I was able to use my enthusiasm during a situation and how I was continually learning how to balance my enthusiasm. It was a pretty cool answer. The girls interviewing me were impressed with my all of my other answers too. They were both really excited at the possibility of having me on their team. 

Several days went by and I hadn’t heard anything. I was getting anxious! Sunday rolled around and I ran into Veronica. She asked me if I was busy the next day and then informed me that I had a second interview with her, Judy, and Mr. Workman (the big head hauncho). I was super excited. This interview went wonderfully too! It was about an hour long. The first 15ish minutes, Mr. Workman gave me different situations and asked me how I would handle them. Some were pretty low key while others were big deal issues I might come across. After he had finished his portion, he turned to Judy and Veronica. “I have no worries here. She seems like a wonderful candidate. I would be happy to recommend her for the job.” After we said goodbye, he left. Judy and Veronica asked me some more questions, gave me some more in depth information with what the job would entail, what I would get for being a RA, and some other things like that. The more I talked with them, the more excited I got about maybe getting this job!

Fast forward to the next day. I’m at lunch with my Dad. I had a doctor appointment for following up on something. (No, not dermatology. That comes later. Don’t worry. I’ll touch on this appointment too. Patience.) Anyway, I get a text from Veronica asking if I could com down to her office at noon the next day. Of course, I said yes. I didn’t know why she wanted to meet with me but I was secretly hoping that it was to offer me the job. Haha. I got up the next morning and got ready for my day faster than I had thought it would take. It was a good thing too because as soon as I finished, I got another text from Veronica asking if I could come at 11 instead. That was in about ten minutes but I was ready to be there…early in fact! Yay! As I was finishing brushing my teeth, it dawned on me that Wednesdays at 11 is when the RA’s (both the girl’s RAs and the boy’s RA) with Veronica and Judy. I got even more excited. Did that mean I got the job?!

I went to Veronica’s office and ran into my friend Miguel. It turned out that he had interviewed for Ben’s position. (Ben was moving and wouldn’t be the RA anymore.) We stood there talking for a second before Veronica called us both in her office. We had some small talk before Judy came in with some paperwork. She closed the door and officially offered me and Miguel the RA positions!! Hooray! I got a name tag and master keys. (I actually got the keys today…but it’s fine!) I feel very official and powerful when I have them. After we had signed our contracts, we were invited to sit in and listen/watch the meeting with the current RA’s.

Holy crap!! It’s definitely going to take some time to get the hang of everything… I’m so grateful that I have another RA here to help me. (There’s two RA’s for the girls and one for the boys. I’m really glad that I’m not the RA there!) I’m excited to work with this team and get to know them better!! I had my official training at today’s meeting. There was so much information it was like trying to drink out of a fire hose. (I love that phrase! It makes perfect sense and gives a wonderful visualization!) I can’t think straight. I know it’ll take some times to get everything down but I’m looking forward to this job so much!!

It’s been kind of a surreal experience. During this whole process, I never felt nervous, scared, worried…nothing! I felt peace and confidence. It was weird. Usually when I interview for a job, especially one that I really want, I get nervous and can’t sit still. That wasn’t the case this time. Even though I really wanted this job, I was totally fine at the possibility of not getting it. I know that Heavenly Father was keeping an eye on me and that’s why I’ve been calm during the last couple of weeks.

Speaking of Heavenly Father keeping an eye on me, I had a doctor appointment to follow up some concerning results to a test. (Oh my gosh. Be patient!! It wasn’t the dermatologist appointment!!) At my annual biopsies, I have to collect a stool sample. Gross, I know, but that’s my life! Those results came back with traces of blood in it. Totally not normal! So I had to come do it again. I did… This time, the results had MORE traces in it. What?! I hadn’t talked to my heart team about it yet, but my liver doctor was totally on top of it! …It probably helped that I was in for a clinic visit to her when she showed me the results. Before my transplant, I had some really sketchy veins in my esophagus called Varicose Veins. They were swollen and they were at risk for being rubbed wrong and popping, causing internal bleeding. Because 1. it’d been a while since we checked out those veins and 2. I had blood in my stool, she ordered a endoscopy and colonoscopy. That’s what I was doing at the doctor on the Tuesday that Veronica had texted me. Dad came down and I got to spend the day with him. Things went really well. The prep was just lovely… *insert eye roll* It was obvious that the doctor who would be doing the procedure didn’t know my personality because he he asked me how the prep went. Being me, I said, “Oh it was my favorite thing! I should do that kind of cleaning out more often!!” The nurses laughed but he just looked at me with a blank and very confused stare. I just laughed and told him that it went just fine. We talked a little and then the put me to sleep. Oh my goodness, I wish I could have that kind of help sleeping all the time! Haha.

Recovery went really smoothly too. I was awake and ready to leave within maybe a half an hour after the scope had been in me. Before I could leave, the doctor came in to talk to me and Dad. “So, before you went to sleep, do you remember me asking if you ever get heartburn?” “Yep.” “Do you ever lay down and just hurt?” No…?” “Oh, so you’re one of THOSE people! You have acid reflux…” “Yeah, I’ve had that since before transplant.” “Okay. Sometimes it can be so internal, people don’t feel it. You’re one of those people. You have ulcers all over your esophagus. Take 40mg of omeprizole twice a day, or something like it that works with your other meds. Talk to your transplant team, take what they say…and then come see me again in three months.” “Oh…okay.” “Also, the varicose veins are gone. I didn’t see anything!” I thanked him, we said goodbye, and Dad took me to lunch! It was a pretty good day.

Okay… Finally. The moment you’ve been waiting for!! It’s time. I’ll now tell the tale of visiting my dermatologist. My appointment was Monday afternoon, so we came down Sunday night. (Oh yeah, I was in Idaho for the weekend. That was fun.) Shannon and Jesse have a baby!!! She is the cutest!! She’s perfect and so tiny! Mom says that she’s the same size I was when I was born.

She wears premie diapers. They are literally the size of my hand!! I changed her diaper and started crying… It was great! So, the reason I told you that they have a baby is because that’s part of the reason we came back to Utah Sunday night. They live in Provo so it was easy to go say hi and give loves for a bit. After the visit, we went back to my apartment and slept.

The next day, we got up and ready for our day. Rachel wanted to come to this appointment too but had plans Sunday night, so she was going to drive down in the morning. Oh, it was so fun to have Mom AND Rach here for this appointment. We decided that we needed to go to lunch before the doctor.

Rachel needed somewhere to park her car…because she didn’t want to drive alone everywhere and that doesn’t really make sense so I texted Ben. He was the RA at the Lodge and I’m great friends with him so I figured that he’d let Rach park there for the day.

Our conversation went like this:

Me: Heyy! So…my sister is coming down for the day and I was wondering if it would be okay if she could park at the lodge while she’s here? (That way she wouldn’t have to pay for parking… Haha). If it helps sway your answer, I’d be glad to bribe you with cookies.

Him: Sound good.

So with that taken care of, we decided to meet her at the lodge and just all ride in Mom’s car. While we were waiting for her to get here, I got to talk to Brad on the phone about my doctor appointment, the day’s plans, and I invited him to come to lunch with us. He wasn’t sure he would be able to make it but wanted to meet up with us before we left so he could meet Mom and Rachel, and give me a hug. We made plans and hung up. We invited Charlotte to come to lunch too! She got shoes on and we all got into the car. We got there and Brad was there…in his car “sleeping.” I got out and ran over to bang on his window. He got out, gave hugs, and I made introductions between him and Mom. We all waited for a little bit longer for Rachel…and she called Mom completely lost. She got there eventually, and I ran over and we almost tipped over because we hugged each other so hard. She hugged Mom, I made introductions again. I convinced Brad to come to lunch and we all climbed into Mom’s car and drove to Zupas!! It’s probably one of my favorite places. We ate lunch, talked, laughed, and had a great time. After lunch, we dropped Charlotte and Brad off and went to my appointment. (I’m such a slacker… I don’t have a picture of us at lunch. I’m sorry!!!)

I hadn’t been very worried about this appointment…until now. I hadn’t given myself a chance to really think about what was going on regarding my face. When I had initially gone to see him, he gave me some ointment to make the sores go away…but took a biopsy of one of the spots, too, just in case. The sores went away so I almost kind of forgot that I had cancer. It’s weird. Anyway, I hadn’t processed the diagnosis or something so on the way to the appointment, it really hit me what was happening. I’m so grateful that my mom and sister where there.

I got called back and the three of us filed into the room. I was there for an ED&C. It’s a super simple procedure that took like ten minutes! They numbed the area and electrically burned the spot. Crazy easy. The site itches because it’s healing but it hasn’t really actually hurt so that’s nice. I mean, it did when the Novocain started wearing off but that’s about all. 

Sorry, before the procedure happened, the doctor said that the carcinoma was only in one spot! What?! So, all the other sores on my face was actually impetigo like he thought!!  Children…and people with weak immune systems can have a reaction that is a mix of staff and strep on their skin, called impetigo. It’s temporary and shouldn’t come back again. I don’t do anything easy…or just once, so we’ll keep an eye on that. Because it went away with the stuff that he gave me, the only spot with carcinoma was the spot that he had biopsied. It was one of the newest spots…and it looked slightly different enough from everything else. That’s why he chose that spot to test. What a tender mercy!!

Now I am happy to say that I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR! Yeah…that feels wrong. I mean I did have cancer but only a little bit. I feel like I should just stick to saying “cancer free.” I still feel cool but not “HA HA LOOK AT ME!” So, after we were done with that appointment, Mom dropped Rachel and I off at my apartment. We said goodbye to her and she left back home. I got to hang out with Rachel for a little longer. We had a wonderful conversation. I have sure missed her!! She eventually had to leave… Brad and I were wanting to go celebrate but he was busy for the rest of the night so we made plans for the next day to go get celebratory ice cream.

I got a text from Ben when he got off work that night:

Ben: Just got off work. Where’s my cookies?

Me: Oh you wanted them tonight?! Well..I might have to come over and use your kitchen…or you’ll just have to be patient until I move and have mine. 

Ben: Haha, you don’t need to make me cookies but…I couldn’t say no if you do.

Me: Hahaha! I mean, I’m probably going to make cookies eventually anyway… I might as well make some to share too. 


The next morning, Brad (and Sam and RJ) came to pick me up and we went to get celebratory frosties! We passed KFC on our way so after frosties, we circled back around for chicken.

On the way, Sam asked me what kind of cake I liked. Obviously I said chocolate. It’s usually the best bet to get chocolate anything if you’re getting something for me. Haha! So we order our lunch and sit down. Sam gets called up for his order and he comes back with two cakes. One for RJ’s birthday and one for me for being cancer free! It’s been a really fun and yummy treat to have around.

Once again, I remembered how lucky I am for such amazing friends. They are so supportive and loving. I seriously don’t know what I’d do without them!




Today, after I said goodbye to my friends for the night, I didn’t want to go home. I wandered over to Temple Square. I’m so grateful that I live so close to that beautiful place. I slowly made my way to the reflection pool. Along the way, I people watched. There are so many different kinds of people on this earth, but we are all children of God. He loves us all so much! I found a comfy spot on the side kind of out of the way of everything. I just sat and stared at the temple. After a few minutes, I pulled my scriptures up on my phone. (Technology is amazing!!) I didn’t read anything in particular but it was fun to be looking at the temple while I was reading the word of God. After reading for a while, I said a little prayer and zoned out looking at the temple again. Usually when I “zone out” I’m in really deep thought. I pondered over everything that has happened this last year…or even just four months. I don’t even recognize myself sometimes! I’ve grown so much. I’ve built a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father. I’ve become more confident in life. I’ve become stronger. I’ve become more outgoing and friendlier. I’ve become a different Sarah. Of course, it’s the good kind of different but definitely not who I used to be. I have been so blessed! Heavenly Father loves me!!! As I was thinking, it started raining. Not a light sprinkle, it pored! It was soooo pretty! It was almost like Heavenly Father wanted to tell me, “Hey Sarah. Life is pretty great. Don’t give up. I’m so proud of you. Don’t forget that I love you so much!” With tears in my eyes and sloshy shoes, I made my way home. Little reminders of my Father’s love for me like that make me feel so special.

It may not feel like it sometimes, but Heavenly Father loves you too! You are His beloved child. He wants the very best for you. Don’t be afraid to turn to Him. He’s there waiting with wide open arms, waiting for you!

Story time, guys!

Hi everyone! Life has been absolute craziness lately. I finished the semester with strong grades, great friends, and a very tired brain. School is hard but sooo worth it! I’ve already signed up for my next semester classes. I’m pretty excited for my classes. I’m finally done with all the basics so now I only have design classes! Hooray and bring on the stress!
I’ve also been really busy with my friends. We’re always doing something together! It’s been fun. I love them all so much. I’ve posted several of our adventures on my Instagram but I figured I should do a baby (okay…maybe not so baby) photo dump here. I know…photo dumps are your favoritest thing ever! Haha! As always, I’ll post pictures, the caption, and maybe a little background on what’s going on in the picture. Ready? Let’s go!!
JULY 23, 2017
Oh the joys of living in Downtown Salt Lake….
Heidi was driving us home this morning at 1ish but we had to drop off Eli. We pulled into the parking lot at the lodge (boys student housing) and saw a dead body. Ashley started freaking, Heidi and I both lost it to laughter, and Eli said to drop him off on the other end of the complex. We called Ben to take care of it…and Heidi turned the van around so we could take pictures of this event.Ben peaked out of his room and calmly took care of the situation. Then he walked over to the van and climbed in. We are still chatting away… Now it’s almost 2 in the morning.
Thanks. Mr. Hobo for the extra bonding time with friends. 😘❤

Edit: It wasn’t an actual dead body. He was just sleepy… Apparently the sidewalk at the lodge is a comfy place.
JULY 27, 2017

Last night I unintentionally crashed on Heidi’s couch…literally. I woke up about 2ish this morning, sat up, and started laughing. I really wanted Taco Bell!!! I looked around, still really groggy and noticed the lights were off. Heidi was in her bed and Ashley was asleep on the other side of the couch – both dead to the world. I layed back down on my “spot” of the couch and went back to sleep.

Flash toward to later today. “Guys, I want Taco Bell. I dreamed about it and now I have to go eat it.” We went to Walmart to replace our Oreos and Lemonade we ate a few days ago. (Brad bought them last weekend but we ate them and I promised I’d buy new ones.) So, after that adventure we went to Taco Bell! My dreams have been satisfied and my tummy is mad. Hooray for good friends!


AUGUST 29, 2017

“All you need is someone who joins in on your weirdness.” – Unknown. Adventures, shenanigans, and laughter never ends with these girls!

Sometime yesterday, Ashley dumped some laundry soap into the laundry basket. Heidi asked how we’re going to get it out. “We’re going to sift it through the holes in the side!” says Ash. So, there we were, sifting it back into the box! Dispite the mess on the floor, I’m honestly suprized how well it worked!

A few hours later, Ashley somehow manages to lock the bathroom door….from the outside! I really have to pee, so I’m in the corner doing a dance and laughing hysterically. Heidi grabs her cute little tool kit and takes the latching thing off of the door. “Meh, I’ll put it back together tomorrow.” Now we have a rule that if the door is shut, we cant go in because that means someone is in there. Haha!!

These girls mean the world to me! I seriously don’t know what I’d do without them. They make me laugh, forget my sorrows, and make me feel loved! Sure love you Hyds and Ash!

AUGUST 29, 2017 
Oh what a marvelous day. Brad’s home!!! He’s done with EFY for the summer. Man, I’ve missed him! Heidi and I surprised him at his apartment with “welcome home” signs – like a missionary. I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or flattered…. Maybe a bit of both.
Heidi and Angela have birthdays about a weekish apart so Brad and I planned a fun party for them. I made the cakes last night so when Brad got home, they’d be cool enough to frost. We worked on that, Angela made pizzas, and the other boys worked on decorations.Once again, I managed to swim in my street clothes. I had brought my swimming suit and had already been done with the water for the night. Obviously I was wrong because about 10 minutes before it closed, Brad (who had claimed to be done swimming too), Heidi, and I all jumped in. It was cold and I didn’t want to face the air outside of the pool. Totally worth it though.
There were lots of laughs, meaningful talks, friendships strengthened, and memories made. I say this a lot, but I am so grateful for my friends. If be so lost without them!!

JULY 30, 2017
This one is pretty easy to explain. We came home from church and all kind of just piled onto Heidi’s couch doing our own things. Super simple but so memorable.
I just love the fact that Heidi is under everything and just cheesing it up while Ben, Brad, and I are totally ignoring the world. Haha.
AUGUST 3, 2017

Tonight’s adventures gave me lots of fun memories!
Brad got me an EFY shirt and we accidentally twinned today, so that was fun. Then I helped him sign up for classes and job search. He asked me to help him with his resume and cover letter tomorrow! (Well, technically, I volunteered myself…) I feel super smart, guys!!

Eli came to join us and we watched a move. As usual, I fell asleep. I woke up and we all started talking. It was past curfew for me to be at the boys apartment, so we headed back to my house to take me home. We got there and realized that we didn’t want to call it yet so we waited for Ashley to come downstairs so we could go wash Brad’s car…at 1 in the morning.
After we did that, the four of us (Brad, me, Ashley, and Eli) dropped off the car and walked to temple square. We sat down and talked about life. It’s. So nice to be able to have deep, spiritual conversations with my friends in a regular basis. Ben and Jacob met us over at the reflecting pool after a little bit.

We stood there all talking about different things for a while longer before someone mentioned being hungry. That comment set everyone off. We didn’t realize how hungry we all were. We walked back to the lodge. After a long, indecisive discussion we all piled into Jacob’s car and headed to Denny’s!!! Milkshakes, smoothies, burgers, and nachos… Yummy!!

Now it’s 5. I’m in bed, slowly crashing from my nap and sugar high. I’m so glad I have friends that love me!!

AUGUST 4, 2017
We often all go on errands together. We call it “going on an adventure.” It makes things sound a lot cooler than they really are. Haha. This picture was taken at Walmart. Right when you walk in, there’s this little kiddie ride. We walked past it and Ben yelled that we needed a picture. Brad climbed in and I took some really silly pictures. This one was everyone’s favorite.
AUGUST 5, 2017
We planned to go hike Ensign Peak probably right after I had met these friends…so since the end of June. Brad was always busy with EFY so it had to wait until after the summer was over. Only three of us showed up, but it was super fun! I got to know Tyler a little better, hang out with the boys, enjoy the sunshine, and hang out with my friends. It was my first time EVER to make it all the way to the top!! I’ve gone and tried so many times. I usually make it about half way before I have to call it quits. Hooray for healthy hearts and great friends!!




AUGUST 8, 2017

This has been my view today. I love being with these boys…even if that means I’m stuck doing homework while they’re playing games. I have decided that I’d rather be with them doing nothing instead of doing something fun all alone.

(Explanation time! These boys are wonderful. I love them so much. Brad had called me and invited me to come over and hang out with him and Ben. I really didn’t have time. I explained to him how much homework I to do – projects, papers, assignments… You know, normal things that stress me out because the semester was ending. He laughed and told me to take a deep breath. I obeyed, not really feeling any better. He told me that I should gather all of everything I needed to get it all done and come over. I spent the day…and the next day stressing about everything with friends. It was really nice to have them there to talk me down when I started getting too overwhelmed.)


AUGUST 12, 2017

Meet Tina the alpaca. She is Ben’s new best friend. Last night, he commandeered my phone and downloaded the most random game. It’s basically Pokemon but with alpacas!! It’s the dumbest thing ever. 

Today we all had breakfast before adult responsibilities had to get done. I turn around and there’s Ben just sitting there playing this game!! “Ben…why don’t you just download it on your phone?” “It’s on your phone so I’m not on it all the time. It’ll only be when you’re around!” Thanks friend…







AUGUST 15, 2017

It’s so great that I have a picture with all three of us… I love all my friends so much but there’s something different with my friendship with Ashley and my friendship with Brad. There’s almost a codependency thing happening with these guys.

I was talking to Ashley the other day about it. Like, with our friendship we physically can’t go a whole day without at least talking to each other!! She was gone last weekend and we were literally texting each other THE WHOLE 36 hours she was gone. It’s like we can’t even function without the other person around. As for Brad… He’s become my “adventure” buddy. When I’m with him, everything turns into something fun, no matter how boring the job is. He comes with me for blood draws, I go with him for chiropractor appointments, we go grocery shopping, watch movies, play games, do homework, get slushies, go to the bookstore, or just sit there doing nothing. We are ALWAYS together and it’s ALWAYS an adventure!

It’s crazy how attached to these people I am. Yeah, I have other friends I enjoy spending my time with but if Ashley or Brad or BOTH aren’t around, I feel lost. That’s not very healthy, is it?

Anyway, look at the dates on the screenshot of these texts. These are the “hey, here’s my number” text you always feel obligated to send when you meet new people. I’m surprised that I haven’t had to delete them given how much I text Brad and Ashley!! Guess I have more storage on my phone than I thought. Haha.

The people in these pictures are my favorite people in the world!! They have become my family. I really don’t know what I’d without their love, support, and influences in my life. I have been truly blessed. ❤ 


Peace and Obedience

I love that I have the opportunity each week to take the sacrament and receive those blessings. I love the Gospel. I love knowing who I am. I love Fast Sundays. I feel so close to the Lord while I’m fasting. There are wards that when the bishop turns the time over for testimonies, you might have people get up to speak but then have fifteen minutes of dead air between each one. In my ward, it’s not a concern as to if there’ll be people who will get up. No, it’s a matter of how long past the cut off time do we go? Will we have to cut anyone off? It’s so great! I know I’ve said this many times before and I’ll never stop saying it but I LOVE MY WARD!!

Today I was again witness to God’s love among His children. As soon as Bishop Morgan turned the time over to us, there was maybe ten seconds (which is a long time in my ward) before people stood up and walked to the pulpit. I listened to friends poor out their love for Heavenly Father, faith, following the spirit, patience, etc. Halfway though a testimony, I was prompted to go up. I didn’t know what I was going to talk about but I walked up there. I patiently waited my turn and tried really hard not to cry during other personal stories of strength.

After a little while, it was my turn. I stood up, took a deep breath, and just let the words flow. It’s incredible what you can teach when you’re relying on the Holy Ghost. I said something like this, “Trials can be tough. It’s okay though. I had something really hard recently popped up in my life. It hasn’t affected me the way I thought it should. Emotionally, I’m doing pretty good. I was talking to my mom the other day about what was happening. She had asked me how I was dealing. I kind of laughed and said, ‘You know, I think there’s something wrong with me. I should be having a mental breakdown. I should be loosing it. Any normal person would loose it but I’m fine! What’s wrong with me?’ She was quite for a moment before responding in a way only a mother could respond, ‘Sarah, there’s nothing wrong with you. Think about it. What are you doing?’ ‘Well, I’m going to school, studying hard, being with fri…’ ‘That’s not what I mean. What are you doing, spiritually?’ Obviously I gave the normal seminary answers like saying my prayers, taking the sacraments, going to church, reading/studying my scriptures and patriarchal blessing… ‘Exactly. You’re obeying the commandments. Your life is aligned with Heavenly Father’s path for you. You are close to the spirit. Why wouldn’t He bless you with peace?’ That really hit me. I had always known that there was a correlation between obedience and having the spirit but I guess I didn’t fully understand it. I know that when we do the things Heavenly Father has asked of us, He will bless us. Sometimes, it’s in ways you wouldn’t expect, but He will bless us. For example, I’ve been praying for this particular trail to go away. Heavenly Father has different ideas but because I’m living righteously, instead of being taken away, I have been blessed with peace.”  

Google says peace is  “freedom from disturbance, quiet and tranquility.” I definitely feel free from disturbance. My normally over anxious brain should be going a million miles an hour in every direction but I’m not feeling that way at all. As I was walking home from church today, a scripture reference came into my mind. I didn’t know it by heart so I had to look it up but it fit perfectly!! Doctrine and Covenants 59:23 says, “…he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come.” I know that to be true. Our lives can get hectic, turned upside down, and absolutely mad but it doesn’t matter. We just need to remember to do the things He has asked, and we will be blessed. There’s blessings all around us..all we have to do is look! In this particular time in my life, my blessing for being righteous is peace.

Scary words.

There are lots of scary words in this world: death, divorce, unemployed, miscarriage, infertility, chronic, sick, rejection… The list goes on and on. I heard a few scary words yesterday that applied to me: Biopsy. Carcinoma. Procedure. I guess I should back up to the beginning of the story. *There are pictures in this post that aren’t the most appealing to the eyes. You have been warned!*

A few weeks ago, a weird rash broke out on my face. Because life is stressful, I kinda just blamed it on stress. One night, it got itchy and I scratched it in my sleep. I woke up and it was about 10x worse. I didn’t really think much of it. I was planning on giving it about a week before I called my doctor – just in case it was actually just stress related. Almost a week went by and it was actually spreading. I had new spots on my face and down my neck. I couldn’t put make up on to cover it up without making it look worse. I was really self-conscious about it. I didn’t want to go anywhere because I looked the way I did. It was rough.

I had spent the weekend with my mom (I’ll do a separate post about that trip) and she was asking what my plans were for my face. I told her Wednesday would be a week and then I was going to call my dermatologist. We took pictures to send to my uncle who’s a doctor. He “diagnosed” me through the pictures but suggested that I actually go in and get it checked.

I called the next day (Monday) to set up an appointment. The next day, I went in. The nurse looked at my face, sent in the med student who looked, then in came the doctor. We discussed what was happening and then he left the room for a few minutes. When he came back, I just started laughing. I knew exactly what he was going to say. He kinda smiled at my spontaneous laughter before he said, “I have no clue! There are spots that look like impetigo it’s too isolated to be that. You have no other symptoms so it’s not staff or anything. It’s all really weird.” I just laughed some more and replied, “Story of my life. Either I don’t do things easy or no one has any idea what’s wrong!” We joked about that for a second before he asked me if I’d be willing to let him take a biopsy of one of the spots for future reference if anyone comes in with this again. Obviously, I said yes. I love helping progress the medical world. Haha! He did that and told me his office would call me when the results came back. He also gave me a cream to put on the sores to help heal them right up.

Two days after using the cream, it looked sooo much better. The doctor had told me that I could continue with my regular routine…so that meant makeup again!! Yay! I hadn’t worn make up for about four days to help not irritate it more.

Here’s pictures a week and a half after that (this morning to be specific).  I did have a little foundation on but not much.

So, yesterday I got the call I had been waiting for….and to be honest, kind of had forgotten about. Being a transplant recipient means being on lots of inmunosupresant meds for the rest of my life. I’m on them so my body doesn’t reject my heart. Further out you are from transplant, the less you worry about rejection and more about cancer. The biopsy from a few weeks ago came back with traces of carcinoma. Carcinoma is skin cancer. Although I’m overly cautious with sunscreen, I’m still at risk because my immune system is not really there. It’s sounds really easy to treat though. I’ve got an appointment later this month to do an ED&C. It’s a 20ish minute procedure that he’ll do in the clinic. I’ll keep you all updated on how things go!

I woke this morning with the prompting to ask Brad for a blessing. He immediately responded with eagerness. While I waited, I read my patriarchal blessing and said a prayer. I’m scared… Cancer is a scary word. I’m okay though. I’ve got a great support from family and my friends are amazing too. I miss my family and would love to be with them but all my friends have become my family.  I’m okay with being in Utah during all of this because of them. Heavenly Father loves me and has a plan. I’ve made it through all my heart stuff, a broken heart, moving away and going to school (twice)… I can make it through this too!