(My thoughts are kind of everywhere… I hope this makes sense.) I’ve come back to tell you that I did it! It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be… I am usually a positive person. I know that I am blessed. I know that I have a good life. I know that I can name multiple positive things about myself. I do think highly of myself (in a humble way…not holier than thou way). I was able to come up with a weeks’ worth of positive things about myself and my life but I filtered some of my thoughts. Weird, huh? I wanted to say things like, “I have an amazing body” or “I am a walking miracle.” I totally wouldn’t mean them in a full of myself kind of way. I would have added “I have an amazing body. It’s capable of so many amazing things. It can move, bend, get sick/hurt and then heal itself. It’s crazy!” Since I couldn’t edit the pictures to make them look better, I captioned them with things that were kind of obvious and carefully worded. See, I’ll show you:
It was amazing. I think I said this in the last post, but I believe that this whole experiment was more for me than anyone else. I have always known that I was flawed. I’m not perfect, but hey, no one is. I have also always known that I have a wonderfully blessed life. As I’ve reflected on this, I don’t think I’ve ever combined the two in this kind of light. With this, I was able to go out of my comfort zone and grow. One of my teachers once said, “There’s no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone.” I got lots of positive feedback on everything; comments, likes, loves… It made me feel odd at first. I’m not usually the kind of person to flaunt my life, imperfections, or blessings out for everyone to see. With this project I had committed myself to, I had to do both. As the week went on, I got more excited to post my daily selfie (wither or not I was ready for the day). It was harder to come up with positive things that didn’t sound super holier than thou. Some days, it was tricky but I did it! I made it a whole week. In future selfies and captions, I know that I can be a little more secure and confident in my flaws and continue being my positive self! Thanks for reading.
I’ve been meaning to make this post since Tuesday. Work has got me going all the time, so on my day off, I’m finally taking some time to write. Haha.
This week I posted this picture with the caption “hashbrown: no filter.”:
“Hashbrown: no filter” is a quote from The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmit. It makes me giggle because that’s what the character legitimately thinks that “#nofilter” is. I wanted to use the quote so I captioned my selfie with it. I know that it was just a silly quote but as I got thinking, it wasn’t true. I had cropped it, tweaked the colors, AND put my favorite filter on it.
Here’s the original slefie:
I don’t care about whether or not my scar shows because it’s part of who I am. I don’t care that my face isn’t centered in the picture. I don’t care that I look really washed out. I don’t care about any of that. So, why did I do all of that “fixing” to a perfectly good picture? Maybe that’s part of the reason I haven’t sat down and write this post yet. I’ve been trying to figure out why I felt unsettled about it. It’s silly, but it does.
Growing up in my parent’s house, I was always taught to be true myself, not be ashamed of who that was, stand up for what I believe in, and respect others and their opinions. As I’ve become my own independent self, I’ve learned that that advice and guidance is a ton harder to do that it seems. I’ve learned it’s definitely important to follow but it’s hard. I don’t have a perfect life, none of us do. We all have hardships, heartbreaks, failures, or sorrows. We aren’t in total control of what life gives us, but we are in complete control with what we post. I think, instead of asking for support or help, we try to overcompensate with how we make sure others view us on social media. I don’t mean that you should do nothing but complain about your life, but instead of posting the doctored and fake selfie, post the one of you in a messy bun with no makeup, sick in bed and say something you’re happy about. Hmm… I don’t know. Maybe none of that makes sense. Maybe I’m delusional. Maybe I’m asking too much. Maybe I’m just rambling. Maybe I was supposed to write this for me specifically. This is basically my journal right? Haha. I was on Pinterest the other day and this quote popped up. I think this is a perfect way to end this entry.
I’m making it a personal goal to let myself be vulnerable in my social media. For one week I am going to post one selfie every day, UNEDITED and NO FILTERS with something positive about myself. Next week, I will post on the blog about my experiment…complete with all the pictures and captions. Yayy!Wish me luck!
Hey everyone! This post is pretty much a catch-up and photo dump! Yayy! I’ve been able to attend and be apart of some wonderful weddings/set ups and I haven’t blogged about any of them! So, settle in and I’ll get started.
June 6, 1015: Shannon, my best friend and cousin, got married to the love of her life. It was so sweet and special! Jesse is an amazing guy and I’m so glad that he’s part of our family.
This was actually the first wedding that I had ever brought Lewis to. We had been dating for just under four months! I caught Shannon’s bouquet. My little brother caught the garter. Not knowing what it was, he threw it at Lewis. We were both laughing. He turned to me and asked, “Guess we don’t have a choice now, huh?” We had talked about hypothetically…but not really very seriously. Who knew, two years later, we’d be planning our own wedding!
December 17, 2016: Aleks and Olivia got married in the Salt Lake Temple! I’ve mentioned them before…several times. They are a couple of my favorite people. I knew Aleks before he even started dating Olivia. It’s been so fun to see their relationship grow! They love each other so much and I’m happy that they get to spend forever together.
November 12, 2016: About a week before the 12th, Lewis texted me and asked if I could come visit and go on a double date with his best friend and another girl. I was super excited! I hadn’t seen the girl Jamon was bringing since June! Okay…wait. Let me back up.
During the summer, Lewis went to on a sales job with Jamon. While they were gone, Lewis’s brother was leaving on his mission. Some of their family came down for his endowments/goodbyes, including, his cousins from Washington! The night before Logan left for the MTC, we Skyped the boys so the two brothers could say goodbye. We were over at Jamon’s parents’ house (his family is pretty much Lewis’ family). Jamon saw Jenna, who is Lewis’s cousin and was immediately in love….at least that I could tell. Shortly after the Skype call, they had begun texting/calling but had never actually met in person. So in November, Kathy, Jamon’s mom, had her come down to help with a Sunday lesson. It was secretly a plan to set them up on a real date. Since she was going to be there, the boys wanted to take us out on a double date! It was so fun. The boys were so cute about it. They had planned everything ahead of time and it was all perfect.
Visiting Temple Square in Salt Lake is pretty much a “have to” when you are on a date. So, after lunch, we walked over and took pictures!
After tons of silly pictures and a tour of the visitors’ center, we started our way over to go window shopping at the City Creek Mall.
We stopped off at the Disney Store on our adventure. We found princess dresses that fit me and Jenna! The boys thought it was really funny.
When we were done at City Creek, the boys dragged us over to the Gateway Mall for another surprise. They took us to do virtual reality stuff! (Back story: I am terrified of roller coasters. Jamon lives in Ogden and in order to drive to Salt Lake, you have to pass Lagoon. The boys were teasing us that that was where we were going. Jenna was all for it but I was very nervous and hesitant. I really thought that they were serious!! Throughout the day, the boys kept hinting that we were going to ride roller coasters…. Lewis later asked it I really thought that he would really make me do something that scared me that much. That’s one of the many times I knew that he loves me. Haha.) Okay, so we get into the VR place and Lewis asks if they have four headsets that we could use. He helped me put mine on my head and then grabbed my hand. The person that worked there explained how to use them and then instructed us on how to go to the roller coasters. Lewis didn’t let go of my hand the entire time! It was so sweet. After we got tired of all the roller coasters, we went through the different options. Jamon ended up finding a haunted house that caused him to scream several times. It was soo great! I decided that I’m okay with roller coasters if i’m in a store holding my sweetheart’s hand the whole time. <3
For dinner, the boys had made reservations at The Roof. It’s a really fancy restaurant on the roof of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. I ate so much delicious food. I think we all went home with “food babies.” It was wonderful.
It was a fantastic day. Definitely one for the books, for sure! I didn’t want the day to end. I had such a great time. I love spending time with my boy and our friends.
December 1, 2016: Text conversation between Jenna and I
Jenna: Hey Sarah!! Wanna be my bridesmaid??
Me: What?! Yes!!!! I’d love to! When did THAT happen?!
Jenna: Last Wednesday. The wedding’s January 27
Me: AHHHH! YAY! THAT’S SOOO EXCITING!
Jenna: I already had you picked as a bridesmaid for a while but I was like “oh i should probably inform her before she shows up to the wedding as a normal civilian. XD
January 27, 2017: The big day is here! Jenna and Jamon’s wedding!! I got there Wednesday night and was able to stay until Sunday. It was so great! Lewis’s family was there, so I got to see my future inlaws! I sure missed them. The dynamic for this wedding was so weird for me! The Carvers and the Bowens are best friends. All their kids grew up together so they were there for them….BUT Jenna is a cousin on Dad’s side so they were there for her. It was crazy but it was great to see everyone!
Thursday, all the girls went to get mani/pedis! It was sooo fun.
That was such a great weekend! Again, I am so glad that I got to be a part of this wonderful couples’ happy day. They are absolutely perfect for each other.
It’s been amazing to be involved with every single one of these special days because they are all people that I love. It’s been so wonderful to see them find their other half. They have all been blessed with Heavenly Father’s promise to have the opportunity to spend all of eternity with the person they love! That is so amazing to me. With everything that’s been happening, I’m even more excited for my own! Summer needs to come faster! 😉
Hi everyone! This is probably going to be a quickie…with a longer, more detailed follow up. Hehehe. This week has sure been a fun one. I am currently on a bus back to Idaho. That’s part of the reason this is going to be a short post: I am doing this on my tablet without a regular keyborad and no pictures to add. If you don’t know this yet about me, get ready. I LOVE PICTURES! I never take any though. That’s why it’s one of my goals this year for the improved me. Anyway, I don’t currently acess to any of the hundreds of pictures that that were taken this last week. I’ll expound later but here’s a fast little blurb that will get you anxious for my next post.
I got to be a bridesmaid in a wedding!!! It was so fun. Lewis’s best friend married Lewis’s cousin. It was crazy how it all worked out but they are the cutest couple ever (other then lewis and I of course). I’ve never see either of them so happy before AND they get to be together for eternity. It made me even more excited for when I get to marry my best friend. The girls got mani/pedis, I wore sparkle shoes and a princess tira, Lewis and I got to eat at Red Lobster…. There were lots of giggles and tears. Oh it was wonderful! And while you are leaning on the edge of your seat, I shall bid adieu. I will write about it more soon!
I work at at a bounce house place in the mall called Jump In. It’s full of bounce houses, obstacle courses, slides, and more. It’s actually kind of a fun place to work. Part of my job (depending on if I’m opening or closing) is to inflate/deflate all of the bounce houses. I opened today so basically I just had to plug everything in. Super simple….right? Well, I have a story for you. Haha. I got to work today, on time, counted my register, scooted all the benches back to their spots, and then started going around and plugging everything in. I got all of the “jump side” ones done and headed over to Gravity Zone. I plugged in the big slide, went and kicked all of the foam back into the pits, and went back down to plug in the last two toys in. The blowers started up and then stopped. “Oh great,” I thought. “Stupid fuse.” I ran up back to the front counter, looked at the clock (5 mins to open), grabbed the keys, and sprinted to the back again. As soon as I got into the utility room, my brain completely forgot what switch it was. I frantically started to flip every little thing – the lights went on and off, the fans on the other toys turned off and then back on, the heater went dead…. It was madness!! I called my manager to see if she remembered which one it was. She just told me to flip everything, so I did, again. I finally found it. I flipped it and the two fans behind me started back up. Whew… I turned to walk away and POP! they went dead again. I flipped it again but this time I waited. It popped again. I didn’t have time for this!! I knew I was running behind. I looked at the time on my phone. Yikes! I was supposed to open three minutes ago! I finally just decided not to mess with it anymore, locked the room back up, and walked away. I ended up putting a sign up telling people to not go over there. That was so much easier. I called my boss and explained the problem. He told me that he would come take a look at it. I was just glad that I didn’t have to deal with it anymore.
Because it’s been snowy outside, we like having a mop up next to the counter. It’s nice to keep the front clean from all the icky stuff that gets tracked in. I like to grab my mop and bucket before I even open the gate. As you know,I opened today, so that was on my list of things to do. With all the craziness dealing with the power, I couldn’t do it before the gate went up. As I unlocked the gate to pull it up, I hoped and prayed that I would be able to go and get my mop before anyone came in. I finished with the front stuff and ran to the back again. I put the hose in the wheelie bucket and turned it on. For some reason, the hose wasn’t all the way in the bucket… Water started coming out of the hose, moved a little, and splashed against the side, getting me and the wall soaked. Really?! There was now a puddle of water on the floor and dripping from the wall. I was already cold but now I was wet. My shoe was squishy and I had water spots all down the front of me. I was a mess. I wanted to be done. I wanted go home. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I hadn’t even been there for the whole first hour of my shift yet before any of this happened! I wiped up the water around the bucket and off of me the best I could and then wheeled the mop up to the front. Just as I got back up to my counter, a cute little family came in. I took a deep breath and smiled. That was all it took to make my day better. Just one smile.
We get to choose what kind of day it will be. Our attitude determines the outcome. That’s pretty amazing. My dad always tells me that if you choose to have a crappy day, it will be exactly that. Same thing happens if you choose to have a happy one. We have the power to make it what we want. With that smile, I had decided to not let the crummy morning I was having ruin my day. Because of that choice, my day went great! I enjoyed my shift at work, I got a lot of things done there and at home, and most importantly, I was happy. I agree that some days you just need one of those “not my day” days, but rarely. Before my transplant, I used to decide to have several of them quite close together often. I learned quickly that I didn’t like it. I felt miserable, I felt icky,and no one liked being around me. Heck, I didn’t like being around myself! I decided that I needed to choose to be happy. From then on I have decided to smile at whatever comes my way, be an optimist, and have a wonderful day!
All my life I have been able to experience what I like to call “all in” syndrome. That’s when you stumble across something new. You love it so much and can’t think or talk about anything else! It’s usually books, movies, television shows, or music. I can categorize my life into stages of what I’ve been obsessed with. Taylor Swift, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Broadway Musicals, How I Met Your Mother, Les Miserables (the movie), High School Musical, Friends, Lost, Tom Hiddleston… Believe me, the list goes on and on. During these “all in” stages, I pick up on really random facts and store them in my head forever. They never leave! Like for instance, I bet you didn’t know that Benedict Cumberbatch’s (Sherlock and Dr. Strange) full name was Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch or that Jared Padalecki (Sam Winchester) had a broken arm during season 10 of Supernatural because he insisted on doing his own stunts or that Matt Smith (the 11th Doctor) actually hung from the bottom of his TARDIS for the 50th Anniversary episode of Doctor Who because David Tennant (the 10th Doctor) was going to be there and Matt wanted to show off. See?! Weird facts no one wants to hear about! Haha! I have a great appreciation for all of my past and current obsessions.
As I’ve phased in and out of my different obsessions, one has always stuck. Harry Potter. Always! I love the books! I love the movies! (Yes I know that they are so different from each other and yes it bugs me that movies can’t follow the books exactly but I appreciate them as separate things.) I love HP so much! I’ve read all the books – even the silly short stories that J.K. Rowling has written to go with the actual series. I’ve taken all of the Pottermore quizzes. I was sorted into Ravenclaw. My wand is Cedar wood, 10 1/2 inches, dragon heart-string core, pliant flexibility. My Patronus is a Ragdoll Cat. Buzzfeed quizzes have told me that my best friend would be Neville and Luna. My boyfriend would be Neville or Malfoy. My personality is usually Luna or Hermione. Yeah, I’m kind of crazy. Hahaha.
For Christmas, I really wanted the two new books that she’s written. They are screenplays so it’s a different layout but it’s still HP, so I had to have it. It was kind of a late addition to my Christmas list so I wasn’t expecting to be able to read them Christmas morning. When Lewis handed me a box, that after multiple layers of wrapping paper, turned out to be the books I was dying to have, I almost lost it. I was sooo excited to read them. I started Fantastic Beasts that day but kept getting distracted with all of the traditions and festivities that were happening around me.
Before Lewis was scheduled to go back to Utah, he decided that he was going to take me to the new Harry Potter move – Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. I thought that was a wonderful idea because, Harry Potter! I told him that we could go but I wanted to finish the book first. I’m weird like that. By the Wednesday after Christmas I was almost done with Fantastic Beasts. I said goodnight to my family and then stayed up to finish it. I was having mental breakdowns after I was done reading it. For moments like this, I’m so very grateful for my friend Arie…. These are just some of the texts between us that night:
Me at about 1:30 am: “Okay, so i fell asleep on the couch at like 9…. Lewis woke my up around 11ish so I could go to bed for real. Haven’t been able to fall back asleep since I got to my own bed. So what do I do? Well, I just finished Fatastic Beasts! BEST. BOOK EVER. ;)”
Her: “ISN’T IT AMAZING!?!”
(Then we talked about things that happened but just in case you haven’t seen/read it yet I won’t say anything.)
After talk about the events in the book, I said. “I really want to start The Cursed Child but I know that I do there will be NO chance of any sleep ever until I’m done with it…”
A few hours later, I’m halfway through the book freaking out at her still. Thankfully, she had come home late from work and had to get up early the next morning for her play she was in so she was staying up all night, so she was emotionally there for me. Hahah! I came across the biggest plot twist and told her what part I was at.
Me: I CAN’T I HAVE ONE ACT LEFT AND THEN IT’S ALL OVER
Her: JUST BREATHE!!1
Me: *Deep breaths….
Her: You’re not breathing are you….?
Me: Nope. Just hyperventilating
At 6:22 am, I sent this final text: I’M DONE!! IT WAS INCREDIBLE! AHHHHHHH! I’m falling asleep so I’ll freak out about it with you in a few hours. Goodnight!
Her: Hahaha! Goodnight.
I had finished the Cursed Child, a 308 page book in just under four hours! It was great. I woke back up a few hours later and went upstairs. Lewis was already up. He pulled me in for a hug and a kiss, asking how I slept. I started laughing. “I didn’t,” I said. “I finished my books instead.” Wide eyed stare. “O-okay… Now you can start on the next one.” “No I can’t I finished that one already too. That’s the one I read last night…in four hours.” “It hasn’t been a whole week yet. You’re crazy!” He kissed me again. Even after two years, you’d think he’d be used to how fast I read books.
A few days later Lewis took me to see Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Eddie Redmayne is my current hollywood heartthrob so it was so wonderful to look at him for a few hours. 😉
And the best part?! It was just like the book. Granted, the book was the screenplay for the movie, but it was a wonderful experience that the movie followed the book exactly! I was kind of a little more than enthusiastic when something would happen “just like it did in the book” and I could tell Lewis was trying really hard not to be annoyed with me. It’s a good thing he loves me so much right! Haha. Oh, I am so grateful that no matter how old I am or what staged of life I’m in, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome me home.
P.S. I just realized that this movie was the first movie I watched this year (we went and saw it on January 2) so that means that 2017 is going to be magical, right?
Hi everyone! It’s been a while… I know I say this pretty much every time I post, but I will try to do better. I really actually want to this time. It’s one of my resolutions with the new year. 😉 Everyone always says “New year, new me” and I don’t like it. It just bugs me for some reason. I understand what it means. We all have to change at some point. I mean, I’m not the same person I was a year ago but I think it bugs me because even though I have had experiences that have changed who I am, I’m still me. I don’t know if that makes sense to you but it does in my head. So, instead of “New year, new me” I’m changing it to “New year, improved me.” Yeah, I like that so much better. That way it doesn’t feel like I’m not me but I can still grow if I let myself do so.
Part of “New year, improved me” includes:
blogging/posting more – even if it’s just silly nonsense that has happened
not worrying so much about all of the “what ifs” that are contently around me – I am a planner and always end up worried about every possible scenario and, thankfully, my wonderful sweetheart that helps me have perspective and calms me down from my little spirals of anxiety
take more pictures – I love pictures, but I just don’t take enough of them. Example: Lewis was here with my family the last two weeks so he could spend Christmas/New Years with me. Two weeks. Festive traditions, Christmas morning, Dates, Friend meetups, Family stuff… How many pictures? I think I counted a total of nine or ten, maybe?! Sure I remember the day when we had some time to waste so we went and said hi to one of my friends while she was working….but that would have been great to get some pictures of! This one’s pretty high on my list of things to improve on. I think a big contributor is because of my heart transplant journey. I don’t remember much of anything before and quite awhile after…mostly because of all the drugs I was on during recovery. There’s a good fourish months of my life that I don’t really remember. Mom and Dad took a lot of pictures and because I’ve heard the stories associated with each of the pictures so much, it’s nice to “remember” what happened. That’s why I want to take more pictures. Pictures are important to capture memories.
There are a few more on the list but those are the top three. I hope that by next year everyone will be sick of my blog updates, I will be a little better at controlling my “what if tornadoes of worry”, and that I will need to get a couple more sd cards to hold all my pictures! 2017, it’s nice to meet you! *cheers*
Good morning everyone. This is just going to be a quick little post. I have the TimeHop app on my phone (it’s an app that is synced with all your social media accounts and give you “on this day __ years ago” memories. It’s one of my favorites!) Anyway. as part of my morning routine, I always look at it before getting out of bed. I opened it up this morning and this picture popped up:
I felt prompted to post this memory on my Facebook and Instagram. I don’t know the meaning of why I felt like I needed to but I did. I posted the memory with this caption: “I’m not sure why, but I felt like I needed to post this picture today….along with my testimony. I know that we are given trials for a reason. What’s the reason though? Why is life so hard sometimes? I believe it’s because Heavenly Father loves us. What? That doesn’t make sense! Why would a God who loves make us go through hard things? Well, it’s because without those hard times, we wouldn’t become the people our Father knows we are capable of becoming. Sometimes we need a little push. I am so grateful for every single trial and struggle in my life. They all have helped shape me into me. I’m glad I have a wonderful Father in Heaven who has my best interest in mind. #longpost#testimony#blessedfromtrials“
Maybe I have a fb friend or someone follows me on insta that needed a little boost today… Or maybe I was the one that needed a reminder of how blessed I am. I don’t know. All I know is that I was told by the Holy Ghost that someone needed to see it. I know that when we follow the Spirit, we are blessed with more opportunities to listen to Him. I am so glad that I was able to recognize this little prompting. Love you all and hope you have a magnificent day!!
Wait…What? Squeaky cheese…. No!! Not cheese! Clean! Squeaky clean! Do you know how happy I am to know these words apply to me!?!?!
Last week, my mom and I went to my favorite place in the whole wide world: the hospital! Yup, we went for a routine biopsy. Things went really well and the doctors kept using a word that has NEVER EVER been used to describe me. The kept saying everything looked normal! What?! Yeah!! Everything looked so normal and clean that they told me that I don’t have to come back until November for my next biopsy….AND I get to drop one of my meds!!
Because of my med drop, I got the “go ahead” to pierce my ears! Because I work at Claire’s, I know that everything would be safe, clean, and they would do a great job. I was definitely not disappointed. My friend Andrea did an awesome job! I’m really glad I didn’t chicken out! 😀
Guys!! I have a squad!! Yay! Go me!! Haha!! We do so much together…at least we try. I’m so glad that I get to call you my friends, guys! College and work is crazy but you help me stay sane……..er. ;).
Lewis has been gone this summer so it’s been weird without him but it’s still fun. (Lewis is doing summer sales with his friend. He’s been traveling to Montana, Wyoming, and Colorado… I sure miss him.)
Let’s see… We all went to see Captain America: Civil War a few weeks ago and out for Panda Express. #TeamCap!
For my birthday, we all got together and celebrated. Aleks and Olivia made me a cake. We ate lots of cake, watched Tangled, (my favorite Disney movie!), and Olivia cut my hair! Oh and we Skyped with Adrian and Aleks’ parents!
Last week we decided that we needed to go on a picnic. After church yesterday we all met up at the guys’ apartment. We made sandwiches, watched Studio C sketches on YouTube, made cookies, and ate the sandwiches while waiting for the cookies. We drove to Sugar City Park. So pretty!! We ate, laughed, fed the seagulls, played on the swings, rolled down the hills, and learned Spanish. (That last one was mostly Olivia and I. We were trying to say leaves and accidentally said love handles instead. So now my favorite thing to say is “Yo amo tus lonjas!!” Hahaha!)